“Take a thousand steps away from a fight but once you’re in, don’t take one step back.” Words of wisdom from a small, serious girl with orange pigtails, one of the many respected younger members of my academy, Gracie Barra Neepsend.
I have seen at first hand the wealth of skills, personal qualities and unique experiences, which Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu offers to young people, through my son and others. As parents we often discuss these benefits. I spoke to Ella, whose son Cass has faced a number of different challenges, about their family’s experience of Jiu-Jitsu: “My son was born with bilateral talipes on both feet. In other words he was a club-footer. BJJ has been a great way to keep his feet flexible whilst providing the structure and routine he needs as a neurodivergent kid. The consistency of classes and the structure with rules and expectations have been extremely beneficial for him given he struggles with the unpredictability of things.”
Other parents have found that the particular type of exercise makes BJJ suitable for kids with all levels of fitness as lessons feature warms-ups, demonstration, practice and conditioning all in short bursts. They expend a lot of energy during technical sparring to practice what they’ve learned at the end of each session, but they move at their own speed and draw on a variety of abilities. There are so many components to ability in Jiu-Jitsu – physical elements such as strength, flexibility, cardio, coordination, and mental elements like resilience, ability to retain instructions and perceive patterns, planning, receptiveness, humility, and enthusiasm. Any child has strengths and weaknesses among these qualities, and as they learn to appreciate these in each other they learn to appreciate their own strengths and begin to lose self-consciousness about the areas where they still need to improve.
This space for individual personal growth is something Ella feels is particularly important for her son: “The practice of BJJ has helped Cass with discipline, focus, and step by step learning techniques which helps him with his attention. The additional bonus of practicing in a supportive and controlled environment is the fact it makes kids think and respond thoughtfully, enhancing self-control which is something we’ve struggled with at home. It has built his confidence and resilience so he thinks it's okay to make mistakes and lose sometimes, and that persistence leads to improvement. I feel this has been particularly empowering for Cass who experiences a lot of emotional dysregulation and frustration. Another thing to add with the 'Family' team setting is the fact that it promotes individual progress with this being both an individual and team sport. Kids progress at their own pace, and success is based on personal growth rather than comparisons to others. This has been motivating for Cass who doesn't like the pressure in more traditional, competitive sports.”
Persevering with a sport such as Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu builds resilience because it empowers kids to see themselves as successful learners who can get better at hard things. It provides a great space for learning discipline, as young people can see their efforts paying off as their skill increases. A Jiu-Jitsu club which has a nurturing attitude and clearly states themes of fellowship, respect and helping each other is likely to do this best of all, as the young learner will learn to have respect for themselves through being treated respectfully, and meeting the expectation that they will be respectful of others. It will also help them to stick with their hobby if they are treated as a valued member of a community.
“Overall,” says Ella, “BJJ has provided a holistic environment with emphasis on developing physically, mentally, and socially. Cass has built friendships and social skills within the low-pressure environment because it’s not only educational and informative, it’s also fun!”
Many parents I spoke to also appreciated the fact that continuing a commitment to Jiu-Jitsu and being part of a community gave their kid a kind of social resilience. When bullying, falling out with friends, or other social setbacks occur in school, kids of all ages can be devastated - whether they choose to share this with their parents or not. With BJJ, they have a whole group of friends in a stable, managed environment. They might not choose to discuss outside difficulties in the Jiu-Jitsu academy, but they have the opportunity to be busy, learning alongside others of varying ages, benefitting from each other’s company while occupied with a productive purpose. The friendships I have seen emerging from this environment have been healthy and supportive. They don’t have any need to focus on what anyone is wearing, or discussing other people’s business. Instead, they all know that they’re there for the same purpose: to help each other and to improve their skills. Currently so much of our children’s time is spent communicating remotely. Those who have a physical space to connect with peers and help each other with a common goal have a huge advantage when it comes to feeling useful, feeling seen and heard, and knowing that their contribution to society can be valued.
In that spirit I’m handing the last word to the kids themselves!
“I love Jiu-Jitsu because everybody trains with me, everybody is playing with me, with games. There’s no losing in Jiu-Jitsu, you either win or you learn.” Seb, 7
“You have lots of submissions from different spaces and different areas. The academy is a real wonderful place with really nice people there and you can make lots of friends there.”
Winter, 10
“I like doing the double-leg take-downs.” Paisley, 4
“It’s a great community.” Joe, 13
“I think it helps me to learn and it makes me feel safe and happy. I like working with different training partners and I think everyone’s really nice there, friendly and supportive.” Roscoe, 11
“I really like the sparring. It’s pretty fun and active. I liked it when I got my grey belt. I really like Jiu-Jitsu and even decided to do that instead of my theatre group on the same day.”
Yolanda, 8
“It gives me confidence in lots of areas, not just in BJJ.” Dan, 10
“I like training. I like all of it, it’s just fun.” Dylan, 12
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